Insanity

It’s perfectly clear. I’ve gone insane. Nothing can change my mind at this point. I guess I have to say that it’s too late to be saved. Too late to go back to sanity. I mean, I’m sitting in the corner, hugging my knees, and mentally singing my favorite song. No normal person does that. To be brutally honest though, I would just love to tear my eyeballs out of my sockets when I hear society talk about what’s trending. Lately, I just don’t give a damn. Isn’t that what a normal person would do? Actually be interested in “Who wore it better” and other non-sense? Back to the point, when I sit here, rocking myself back forth in complete darkness, I go to another world. One that belongs to me. Where I am free to do as I please, when I please.  Memories swim in the rivers, laughter fill the airs, and pudding cups grow on trees. It’s paradise, and oddly looks like Candy Land. I usually sit in front of the pudding cup trees, with my book, and write. About my feelings, but not in diary form. About love, the kind that doesn’t exist in my life. About The Darkness, that takes a vacation when I’m here. When I’ve run out of words to write, I stand up and walk to the river. It replays my favorite memories of my friends and I, laughing at the stupidest of things, watching movies together, sharing secrets. Then, my heart can’t hold it out anymore. It can’t block out the darkness and the river turns black. I start to see the terrible memories I store in the back of my head. I pull away from the river and make a run for it. I can no longer see the river and the Evanescence music begins to play. My breathing slows and I start to squish my palms together. A bed pops into view. I run for it, letting the grass touch my bare feet. I jump onto the mattress and sigh. I close my eyes, curl my toes and listen to the music. I like to stay here, to be away from the over-whelming society, the drama. I peacefully lay on this bed, keep my eyes closed and stay in this world forever.